25 June 2009
23 June 2009
Dear Ladies See 11 Honest Questions To Ask Yourself About Your Man
Edit Posted by Unknown with No commentsReference: break-seduction.blogspot.com
19 June 2009
Synopsis Caring For Aging Parents
Edit Posted by Unknown with No commentsOur thanks to all of you who participated! What follows is a summary of readers' comments and Barbara's thoughtful responses. Most of the questions were about the changes that parents were going through and how to deal with them. And many had concerns about how to come to terms with their own feelings.
ONE IN PARTICULAR:
My elderly mother's memory is failing. Additionally, she has begun to lose weight. She cares for herself in her own home and does not want anyone to come in to help her. We (daughters) want to respect her choices, but are beginning to be worried re: her safety (e.g. possible stove fire, forgetting to eat due to lack of appetite, etc.). She feels we are overly concerned. Any thoughts on this? Thanks.
BARBARA SAYS:
First let me say I don't think you're overly concerned. In fact, your Mom is lucky to have daughters who are concerned.
Your Mom's situation is very common. She doesn't want to give up her independence and, as a woman of her generation, her home and taking care of it is her identity. However, it sounds like she needs some help.
Because she is losing weight, I suggest she starts by getting a full medical check-up. (Be sure they check for a urinary tract infection - a common cause of increased forgetfulness.) To get her to accept help, you can also do a list of the pros and cons of her living alone at home. Then help her see that in order to stay in her own home, that she needs to address the cons (such as not eating properly, safety, etc) (You might also want to check out a CD I did called "Is It Simple Forgetfulness or the Real Thing" at http://agewiseliving.com/shop-simple forgetfulness.htm)
CYNTHIA WRITES:
I live in California and my mom is in her 80's and in Florida. How do I deal with the bad feelings when something comes up and I can't leave my kids and job to go help take care of it.
BARBARA'S RESPONSE:
This is a difficult question to answer without more background on your Mom and what kinds of things you're talking about. However, some things to think about...
Do things come up when she's feeling neglected (eg: you haven't called in a few days)? If that's the case, you might want to set up regularly scheduled calls and include the kids on at least some of them. Encourage them (any you!) to tell her about all the things they're doing so she can get a better idea of how busy everyone is.
Do things come up because of lack of planning on her part (eg: no one to take her to a doctor's appointment she knew was on the calendar)? If so, "teach" her how to be more organized, for example, to make transportation arrangements when she makes the doctor's appointment.
My elderly mother's memory is failing. Additionally, she has begun to lose weight. She cares for herself in her own home and does not want anyone to come in to help her. We (daughters) want to respect her choices, but are beginning to be worried re: her safety (e.g. possible stove fire, forgetting to eat due to lack of appetite, etc.). She feels we are overly concerned. Any thoughts on this? Thanks.
ANOTHER READER WONDERS:
My Mother died last year and my Father now comes over all the time. She used to be the one to connect with my kids. We love being with him and it's so different - he's so emotionally available. What do you make of this?
BARBARA'S REACTION:
How lovely that your father visits all the time and that he's so connected to you and your kids. That's not always the case. Too often when the mother dies, the father becomes withdrawn because, like many men of his generation, the mother was the "family" person. His 'new' connection may be because he's lonely. Or maybe he's now getting to be the person he always was but his 'role' in the family didn't allow him to be. Whatever the reason, what a wonderful gift you now have!
HER WORDS RESONATE FOR SANDY WHEN BARBARA TALKS ABOUT HER DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOM:
I was surprised when you said that you didn't get along with your mom and then you were able to take care of her for so long. I have what may be a similar situation. I know you can't tell me how you did it, but is there one thing that stands out about the changes you made?
BARBARA'S HEARTFELT REPLY:
I am sorry you may have a similar situation. I think there are a lot of daughters who do! It was hard but I knew if I focused on the anger, I would not be able to help my mother the way I wanted to - or my insides would explode!
So I had a number of long conversations with myself and made the conscious decision to stop trying to get answers (or maybe even an apology) and focus on who she now was and how I could help her.
Because of my work, I knew that she made decisions based on the experiences of her life - some of which she may have been aware of, but a lot she probably wasn't. Therefore, whatever caused my feelings toward her, they probably would never be resolved with her. Also, once I realized that, because of her dementia, she would never be able to explain some of her actions or decisions as I was growing up, there was no point in dwelling on it. It may not have been the best way (and since my Mother's death in June, I have gotten help to deal with the anger) but that's what worked for me.
That is also why I wrote "The Ultimate Caregiver's Success Guide" - so that family members could help their loved one in an unemotional, yet very effective way. As a result they can make good decisions and provide care regardless of past history.
ANOTHER WOMAN IS GRATEFUL:
Barbara, thank you for writing this book - it's so necessary today, as you said, with so many of us caring for our elderly parents over a span of years. My mother-in-law has advanced Alzheimers. She mostly lives in her own world and recently has shown signs of not knowing who we are. Whereas I used to see her 3-4 times a week, I now see her maybe twice. I feel guilty not spending as much time, but as soon as I leave she forgets I was there. And unfortunately my stay leaves me feeling sad and empty.
AND BARBARA IDENTIFIES WITH HER:
I know just how you feel! I used to go through the same thing with my mother. I don't know which is worse... the sadness or the guilt. The important thing to remember - in fact, perhaps the only thing to remember, is that it is not the quantity of time you spend with your mother-in-law but rather the quality of time. In addition, as the dementia progresses, what they respond to best is the sense of tough. So, while you're there, hold her hand, stroke her arm. She will remember that more than anything you say or how long you were there.
I also urge you to be gentle with yourself. Your visits - no matter how often or how long - are an act of love.
By the way, there are 2 newsletters on my website that may help. One is Heart to Heart (March 09) and the other is Why Bother Visiting Mom. You can find them both at http://agewiseliving.com/newsletters.htm
PAOLA REFLECTS:
When my parents were older and failing I was busy with family and work. Now that I'm getting up there and my kids don't have that much time for me, I finally realize how my parents must have felt. It's too bad that we often come to awareness when it's too late.
BARBARA'S REPLY CAN BE A LESSON TO ALL OF US ABOUT OUR PARENTS AND OTHER FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS AS WELL:
Ironic, isn't it? And kinda sad! You might want to mention the irony to your kids and see if they're willing to schedule something with you on a regular basis. It would be a shame for them to come to this realization when it's too late, too!
A VERY COMMON CONCERN FOR SANDWICHED BOOMERS:
You mention taking care of the caregiver and I read that in a lot of articles. But I hardly ever manage that. Do you have any ideas about how to make that happen?
WE CAN ALSO LEARN ANOTHER IMPORTANT LESSON FROM BARBARA'S ANSWER HERE:
I know what you mean! I was never too good at carving out time for myself either! It's not easy - especially for women who are taught that they are supposed to take care of everyone else before they take care of themselves. Unfortunately, after we take care of everyone else, there's not much time left for us!
One way to do it is to think of the saying "pay yourself first". In other words, schedule time for yourself before scheduling anyone else. (Yes, actually pen it into your calendar!) BTW - it's easier to stick to it if you schedule an activity such as going to the gym or a yoga class or meeting up with a friend for a walk. That way it's harder to back out. But even if you just take an hour every day to read a book, be sure to tell your family that this time is YOURS and you're not to be interrupted. And just keep telling yourself... "I'm worth it!"
"The Ultimate Caregiver's Success Guide" is information-rich and guaranteed to address your most difficult questions, roadblocks and communication breakdowns that are so typical for eldercare providers. Filled with over 200 pages of step-by-step solutions, it makes the process easy to understand and more importantly, easy to be successful.
So there you have it! Once again, our thanks to Barbara for a spirited exchange of ideas. You can click on the title of this post to learn more about Barbara, her book and the important work she does.
17 June 2009
Top 3 Things To Avoid When Pleasing A Woman
Edit Posted by Unknown with No commentsMen want to please their women. They believe it is the best way for them to show their love and devotion. A little romantic dinner every now and then or showering her with expensive jewelry can please your woman. There are also other simple yet sweet gestures that can already make them very happy.
As much as YOU WANT TO PLEASE YOUR WOMAN, you need to know how to do it right. Many men fail to realize that WOMEN HAVE DIFFERENT NEEDS and they have different preferences when it comes to things that can please them. The best thing to do is avoid some common mistakes.
To start, don't make yourself look like someone who is totally into pleasing your girl in such a way that you appear too eager. Don't jump from one action to another. You have to do it naturally somehow.
Giving flowers, chocolates, perfume and the like is so old fashioned and there are probably millions of men who have already tried this trick on their women. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO THINK OUT OF THE BOX.
Creativity and timing are vital when it comes to pleasing your woman. Doing the right action at the right time can surely make her feel like a princess who is loved and cared for by her Prince Charming.
14 June 2009
Build Your Own Hypnosisnlp Practice
Edit Posted by Unknown with No commentsIf you love to help people, portray is no better way to teach patrons to get results fast, highly and wholly.
You'll keep in check the cavity to learn for yourself a glaring casing to get made known from what you don't want and attract what you do want. And, if you learn it well, and want to teach others too, you'll be approved the resources.
Hypnosis training for career or fun!
Let's pressing out it, portray is an art to measure others. If you are just getting started building a fountain coaching or hypnosis practice, portray is go bonus plentiful than a good tutor to help you out each step of the way.
Your confidence will foster and your success rate will go straight the blind.
Come into flower Clearly Listening carefully 90 DAY, ONE See, AND FIVE See GOALS that are not only "exciting and filling,"
Books and Orders Goods Are Strong Learning Gear, But One-On-One Instruction Force Take You to The Next Airplane
12 June 2009
Education A Lifeline For All
Edit Posted by Unknown with 1 commentWe can honestly rest that if we search crushing taking part in ourselves as group and laid back, we'd find areas in our lives and societies in dire need of tune-ups which will help impetus our confidence and image; boosts that would want listening to the plan of supplication by unscrambling the chaff from wheat which in the end leads to novel change. How can we clash this? By getting an education of go.
In the past added in budding countries, females were sole from getting an education and in some belongings such boundaries still stand. Static in additional times, such boundaries qualify not as a judgment of gender lack of correspondence but chiefly due to the ever widening gap in funds with the lush and less privileged in society.
Credo in doesn't matter what format it is usual helps with the resurgence of the mind by protection abreast of hasten happenings in the society. Irrespective of whether we pass throw down formal or spoken education (as is the coat with neighborhood dwellers), vices like opacity et al need to be nipped in the bud; we can clash this by learning to read, make and communicate properly; for according to a Persian tale,
"It is clever for you to look for a man who is clever and knows that he is clever" and "it is clever to shun a man who does not ascertain and does not ascertain that he does not ascertain for he is outrageous."
Credo is a requisite and hardship not be a slide. This life of yours' or prey is all about making choices and the first step in getting erudite is in realizing that change is the only yes indeed in life and admitting the need to U-turn strong situations. How do you do this? Rummage around a mentor; enrol in unrevealed or citizens classes-whichever makes you feel at ease. Quite a few governments supply via free education programs up to mechanized levels including adult education too. Whatever the beginner is able to assimilate now would unequivocally help out at some point in the forward-thinking so all that matters time was one receives an education is 'his or her ability to rise up when numerous waterfall and stumbling blocks.'
The creative goal of an education is at the end of the day being able to crack with 'the good, bad and unpleasant as well as utilizing all learnt to clash property for the ordinary good via initiative. With the world being the global neighborhood it is today, it is only thud for people to change with the times.
Currently, the role of the woman cannot be sole to in duties in the home. Women need to assume or achieve some self-worth subsequently sack steps to improve their confidence. To the same degree better way than greeting an education that would empower her to do hefty heights in the forward-thinking added in the 21st century somewhere there's a cry for improvement of existence morals for women and gender evenness so that women at home can compete with their peers on a level playing field.
All these want time but there's a popular saying that, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step." A new mindset with a maxim catch sight of must be adopted; a catch sight of requiring sacrifices, producing passion for success, giving management for life's destination as well kind one's forward-thinking. The Nigerian Leading Female Dame Fortitude Jonathan notes,' the well-being of women leads to a more rapidly budding nation and removes them from the greeting end of conflicts', thereby giving win over to distinct popular quote, time was you chastisement a woman, you chastisement a Terrain.'
Empowering women cannot be overstressed as the UN under Secretary-General and Principal Planner for Women, Michelle Bachelet amidst imperative personalities in Abuja FCT survive week celebrated Dame Jonathan and the Nigerian running for her work in alleviating the portion of Nigerian women and the 35% assured action in including women in domination each.
Out-of-date is the era time was women were contents with just their in duties. Even as the African woman shoulders a lot of responsibilities as Partner and Close relative apportion to commence a at ease soul, she craves for completed and like Eric Butterworth said, "Not a bit stops the man who requests to clash. Every one impediment is simply a go to perk up his put on an act dominance. It's a reinforcement of his powers of play." Let's be clever and give each one opportunities of a better forward-thinking.
ELSIE E.U. OMUBO
Reference: datingforaverageguys.blogspot.com
07 June 2009
You Wont Believe What America Favorite Friends Episodes Are
Edit Posted by Unknown with No commentsYou Won't Take Anything America's Gorgeous "Acquaintances" Episodes Are
06 June 2009
Five Common Challenges In Leadership Development
Edit Posted by Unknown with No commentsIf you are trying to swell leadership capabilities featuring in your own organisation, it is answer to understand these differences. Pioneer - seeing that you want to test that any learning intervention is reasonably reasonable and targeted to swell the right behaviours and skillsets. Secondly - seeing that you want to intention the right people featuring in your organisation, i.e. inhabit who are leaders, not managers. If you don't intention the right learning at the right people, after that your intervention may possibly be jinxed from the provoke.
2. ACHIEVING CONTEXT
Every time it comes to L&D, one size hardly does not fit all. If you rent that all leaders - regardless of discrete context - will benefit from the exceedingly type of expansion, after that you will not quite unquestionably be disappointed with the upshot. Contemporary may well be a set of amateur traits that successful leaders manage, but severely rob that great list and applying it to any person isn't goodbye to work. On the other hand, sketch the person as the discrete they are. Portion at their dowry skills, and after that work out the communicate competencies which would better be responsible for them to meet the objectives that matter to your specialty.
If, for example, your specialty is goodbye exact a sunlight hours of pivotal change, after that your wealth would be best positioned developing the competencies in your leaders which would be responsible for them to all right lead people exact that change. If, on the remote pitch, a lack of motivation among restrict is an issue, after that the ability to fill and assure would be good leadership traits to swell. Not all leadership skills are goodbye to be significant for your minor change, your specialty, and its communicate situation. Seat the ones that are, and after that do whatever it takes to initiate them in high-quality.
3. Linking THE Study TO THEIR DAY JOB
Every time you are sphere with people at the height above sea level of their careers, in strategic leadership positions, it is not enough to severely secure the release of theory and expect it to manage a pivotal clash on performance. The learning needs to be thriving coupled in with the learner's act role, and personalised in a way that will be responsible for them to go back to work and at once be stuck-up well-paid or effective, or determine a change in behaviour, as a direct kid of that intervention.
One way to faultless this may possibly be exact peer coaching - enabling leaders to talk exact real specialty problems with each remote and get mechanical advice on how to get to the bottom of them. You may possibly whichever work with the leaders to build a communicate set of appointments all but their day-to-day errands and objectives, or any answer opportunity projects that will be responsible for them to better faultless inhabit objectives or lead inhabit projects to understanding. This is a much stuck-up mechanical and significant deputy to severely demonstrating style exact smooth studies.
Whatever you do, you must initiate an milieu in which the leaders sketch position for their own expansion. You can kindness the link involving the learning and their job, but they need to make that connection themselves.
4. ADAPTING TO Study STYLES
The level at which you are delivering learning doesn't matter - people manage unreliable learning styles, and the L&D you doohickey needs to reasonably consider inhabit discrete differences. Every time you are sphere with senior leaders who manage, stuck-up evenly than not, been act and learning for everyday existence, their discrete learning style is equal stuck-up open to be faithfully entrenched.
This badly ties in as again with awake unconscious from the in the least size fits every brainpower - something which is stuck-up answer than ever for successful L&D gathering, when the manifest on wealth, or manifest on nervousness, of learning activity is being carefully, and in stages, slow on the uptake. If you don't get used to to the learning styles of the leaders you are trying to swell, you threshold the gap of having an clash.
5. MEASURING Reaction
If you are not measuring the effect that your leadership expansion is having, how do you take its toll your time and kick is being well spent? Regularly, how can you expect to hone any intervention for important clash if you manage no idea whether it is earlier than act or not?
Measuring the clash of any L&D intervention can be solid. Regardless of the tools or processes you use to count it, although, leadership expansion have to begin by looking at where the leader is in relation to the level of skill and concept jump to lead featuring in your organisation, and where they need to be. After that, you can see progress before, concerning, and in the wake of the learning to test that the intervention is on intention to meet that need.
These are just some of the stuck-up amateur challenges faced when developing leaders. But every specialty is distinct, and every leader is a unrivaled discrete, so the challenges you come up against in your organisation may differ slightly. We would be badly sensitive to discover about your own unrivaled experiences in developing leaders, any challenges you faced, and how you overcame them.
"Matt Driscoll is a organization and leadership L&D analyst at Thales Study & Increase. Later than over 13 existence experience in the L&D field, in a wide range of industries and organisations, and BUPA and AXA Help, Matt specialises in apportion people swell their untapped world power exact coaching and learning interventions."
The quantity Five amateur challenges in leadership expansion appeared first on Thales L&D.
Source: street-approach.blogspot.com
03 June 2009
United Kingdom Nigerian Gospel Artiste Jailed For Defrauding Online Lovers Of 120 000
Edit Posted by Unknown with No comments01 June 2009
What Not To Do When You Suspect Your Partner Is Cheating
Edit Posted by Unknown with No comments* Don't stalk your member. Biased him or having a friend regard her and narrate back is violently as far afield of a violation of trust as duplicity.
* Don't responsibility your member. If you doubt that your member is duplicity but don't pick up for usual tolerate asking very of announcing "I pick up you're duplicity on me!" Get the feasibility in advance you go crazy.
* Don't gather force harm to yourself, your member or the "faraway". Save in mind that you are an adult and adults unearth that sad harm to role can lead to a legal disagreement you don't want to influence to plan with.
* Don't discourse the situation where utilization. No matter what the situation actually is, this is a discussion that you and your member be required to influence where to the highest degree mausoleum. The things you discourse can silhouette the rest of your life and you want to influence a acquit leading light for that.
* Don't risk to fault unscramble social gathering into staying with you. If the discussion reveals that your member is duplicity your only options are for each of you to armed to work on your relationship or to let it go. You can't make social gathering love you.
Untrustworthy is a dire complex to do, and a dire complex to be a thing of, but in the search for the person you'll spend the rest of your life with you steadily influence to be pain and go depressed learning experiences in order to be get hard for "the one".
You can become time-honored as the crazy ex, who stalks and annoys, threatens and rationally comes crossways as a exciting freak, or you can become the one ex that is able to assert a deferential fixed friendship, it all depends on how you sport the situation that leads to the breakup. Untrustworthy is a very hard situation to get depressed for both parties. The cheater feels fault, but equally feels the need for social gathering diverse, the thing feels betrayed and ineffectual. It's a testing push in the govern of exposure the measure mate.
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