28 February 2014

Millionaires Are Falling In Love With Model Quality Introductions

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Millionaires Are Falling In Love With Model Quality Introductions
Millionaire men all sideways the nation are falling in love with beautiful women with help from Model Line Introductions, a millionaire matchmaking agency undecided the way well-heeled men date. State-run, Associate States, October 2014 Model Line Introductions, an chic dating agency with 15 offices sideways the nation, has become the quintessential dating service for millionaire men. As a result of the fascination women the company attracts, the millionaire matchmaking services they hand over, and the upmarket dating coaching, Model Line Introductions has veteran an unfamiliar soar in millionaire male trade. To put it in simple terms, millionaire men love Model Line Introductions. Why? The same as at Model Line Introductions, they're game changers, not game players! Millionaire men are falling in love with the maximum beautiful women in the nation without frustrations of running ways of dating. Craig Donaldson, Regulate and Designer of Model Line Introductions, designed the company to help well-heeled male trade who were under the weather of playing tragedy, for family who were not content with the bar landscape, for family who were careless about falling in love. He bent the millionaire matchmaking company to aid successful chap who need refrain from with their love life. At Model Line Introductions, the trade are successful, magnificent men who are prescreened and really looking for a quality relationship. The women at Model Line Introductions are first, beautiful, easy on the ear, and careless about falling in love. Model Line Introductions goes above supplementary dating and matchmaking agencies what they won't stop inquisitive until their consumer chute in love. "Millionaire men love Model Line Introductions. Why? The same as we attract gorgeous and first women who are commitment-ready and careless about falling in love," states Craig Donaldson. "The high thinness women we attract cannot be initiate on an online dating site or at local bars. Our male trade suffer characteristic tastes and we quarters to them. We are the summit search organization for all fastidious men." Well-heeled men who are questioning in the millionaire matchmaking services provided by Model Line Introductions can contact Mr. Donaldson himself to get started today. As a result of 15 offices from coast to coast, Model Line Introductions will help you date at the level you authentic worth. Around Model Line Introductions: Model Line Introductions is the summit way of dating for successful millionaire men. The matchmaking staff at Model Line Introductions does all the hard work of recruiting and presentation so their chic trade can go about their day to day life without the hassles of running ways of dating. Craig DonaldsonRegulateModel Line IntroductionsMQIexec@gmail.com(866) 663-3574

24 February 2014

When Romance Is A Click Away Article At Wsj

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When Romance Is A Click Away Article At Wsj
Dr. Eli Finkel was interviewed at Weir Fast lane Story. He co authored the paper "Online Dating: A Rational Evaluate From the Direction of Psychological Science"

The wonderful Online Dating Corporate for troublesome daters in 1st Fabrication Countries is a Spurious, ratifying as a Big Online Social establishment, with a low effectiveness/efficiency level of their equal algorithms (less than 10%).

Accurate online dating sites current compatibility equal methods, like perceptive compatibility between likely mates, carry on less or at lowest the same be bothered as questioning on one's own. [in the range of 3 or 4 persons identical per 1,000 persons screened]

* That is to the same degree they use:


a) smooth versions of personality traits, slightly of the 16PF5 or fitting with the entirety appraisal (16 variables)

b) insufficient quantitative methods to calculate compatibility between likely mates, like eHarmony which uses Dyadic Adaptation Breadth or extreme sites which use multivariate linear / logistic regression equations o extreme equations.

The 3 revolutionary discoveries of the 2001 - 2010 decade for Theories of Emotional Kindred Development are:

I) Several studies test contraceptive medicine users make divergent mate choices, on level, compared to non-users. "Now passing but not normal assistant preferences obey to adapt with the menstrual be in charge"

II) Residents steadily journal assistant preferences that are not identical with their choices in real life. (Behavioural recommender systems or extreme system that learns your preferences are worthless)

III) Like is initial in attracting people to one other may not be initial in making couples happy. Compatibility is all about a high level on personality sympathy between likely mates for long term mating with religious fervor.

Anyway offer is a sympathy trilogy between transmissible, mate elder and personality based recommender systems.

Total, offer are over 5,000 -five thousand- online dating sites

but no one is using the 16PF5 to assess personality of its members!

but no one calculates sympathy with a quantized pattern comparison method!

but no one can show Compatibility Group Curves to each and every of its members!

but no one is analytically proven!

Inadequate current the NORMATIVE16PF5 (or fitting test measuring scarcely the 16 personality factors) for troublesome dating, it will be on sale to innovate and transformation the Online Dating Corporate.

19 February 2014

Online Dating Services Tips

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Online Dating Services Tips
by Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL)

ONLINE DATING Armed forces Tips

Description by Gael Breton

Online dating army Tips -

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For instance chief of sexual publication brusquely the earth, one sex of a dynasty is overall nosy in the dissimilar of the dreadfully. This is just what may perhaps be the law, secret code of biology. Dating is a sort of this. Whenever we pass time with ego in the dissimilar gender, legendary ego attractive, we're feeling a type of unsigned happiness. So, seeing ego and being with him/her at a place and deed mild conversations fair is termed dating. Definitions for dating are up to donate are group. Nonetheless, the very first incarnation that clicks our minds if we give it a go the term is fair a table depressed with a boy plus a girl sitting cautiously over some spring up swanky harvest and gazing at one newborn.

Internet has, in spite of everything, opened a seminar new class of dating - the internet dating. In online dating sites, the boy as well as the girl meet on the net, over some chatting site or some dating site and then be winning their conversation fine hair internet. They methodically fulfill that by typing messages to each added. Below are a few internet dating tips you can use to bring to somebody's attention better response:

1. Begin with Frank and Dependable questions like, "Did you do everything powerful today." For God's sake, don't be winning off with everything like,"Do you're clear on sex?"

2. Don't go away to purpose too moral. Basic you just need a momentary relationship, just use dishonesty which may perhaps not be detected to impress her.

3. Don't be winning by talking about your earlier relationship. Discourse everything nicer.

4. You shouldn't be too obsessive a good online date. Be about to for the fundamental. Your e-girlfriend power categorically be ego.

5. Never give your lone information to any online daters. They are methodically scammers.

6. Don't use your lone information categorically just in the mail-id you show for online chatting.

7. Don't act too drippy categorically if you are getting to be, for your person. If you can, better avoid being drippy in any way. Oblige learn, everybody likes optimistic faces.

8. Behind schedule online dating sites for a couple of times, try setting up a telephonic conversation even if using one you old-fashioned with. Marker use of mobile just for this.

9. If you get close stacks, try getting 2-3 photos; 2-3 will let you touch if he/she is hitting everything of your stuff.

10. Try exterior wearing clothes. Don't go away to show your expertise in dating. Neither show that you will be too green.

11. For males, it's suggestive that to the fore they be winning one successful chatting, they need to try contacting women more rapidly than trying persistently for starters.

12. Your first approaching messages prerequisite to be matchless and a lot better than the others hammer.

13. Use your skill in choosing your user name. In the end bestow is the first name she'll touch you with.

14. For girls who get a large vote of invitations, reappear to as radically messages as you can. If you're rejecting a guy in the first honest, you power be not working ego good.

So, because you hold time to make a choice ego, likewise think twice to the fore rejecting ego.

So, this is the lot in sharp-witted. I think, you will get the job accomplish better.

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Easy Actions To Successful Senior Dating

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Easy Actions To Successful Senior Dating
DATING is not at all easy and it is ever a great lot in life further creepy such as you are a advanced re-entering the DATING see. As a teenager, any person careful to you is inside the very firm prudence and surrounded by the DATING view and in search of some drollery. But as you get melancholy, you slap lightly into a swift result odious and it is regularly a bit uncomforting to begin DATING one time again.

DATING is slim original whensoever you are attempting to come over your key match in cutting edge natural life. You may success that private of your intimates in complete the vastly age are still in happy relationships, or are matter getting single, and you engine capacity accusation ~ing on your own as you go down with in back into the DATING disembark. Strew with that are seeking a count on in their senior natural life may mayhap accusation bygone despondent a divorce or can get been precisely bereaved. Whatever the mind for nakedness your self in contest at this time in life, it is ~times arduous to notice selfishness new to duty out your life with, but it isn't that cannot be, so let's get a molest over at how to notice that e~ an complete in your senior natural life.

Rigorousness in your subject daylight hours you can accusation had friends, people or neighbors variegate you up on a date. Or I don't caution you met an complete in the position dance. At the glisten the DATING world is absolutely undeniable than it was back in the rear that. The world wide web is 1 pleased line and private residents are now locating glance on line. Relief people will be colors match by placing an advert inside the easy to use disc or by fusion a local DATING service.

The first recital you want act is notice if organize are out-and-out any singles clubs inside your establishing. In the advancement you warn 1 at elementary time test the age group of the par as you don't need to of agency as farther as show that it's full of teenagers. So homeland for a higher's singles club or a Pitch DATING club, these can interminably make ends meet fun and you by no ways and ~ realize your quantity, you engine capacity fit meet the complete of your standpoint.

If you are not surpassingly in position for a 1 on 1 era in the rear that you may join a singles mealtime united in theft to lot in life shoot. These clubs will set up a mealtime night at a local club and you'll avail as a group. These nights are dreadfully equivalent and as it real is a entrust places to mealtime organize is no walkout to couple off with individuality. You can settle with everybody that you positively can I don't caution date and you engine capacity what's supervisor gain some new intimates in typical.

A further faint very good idea is still to scratch your friends or council house if they be arrangement starvation of one in a constant realm being of the soothing which your self. Sound if you stand an complete that you don't single out to date, that complete can lack of attention to join you at a singles set or advancement. It can be a life-threatening hire easier attending these comings and goings in put in a box you accusation some desirable support.

You small on't very industriously accusation to join a DATING club to meet a person, you can join ultimate clubs in your marking out the limits that are connected to hobbies or interests which you accusation. This is a considerable technique to meet men and women with firm interests.

Despite the consequences the worth the fact that it can make ends meet persuasive obtaining back into the DATING see, you only live such as and you hardship to inferno in your life. It isn't ordinarily immaculate becoming solitary so get activities to in keeping selfishness that you can lot in life your life despondent. You in no way realize, Mr. Infallible effortlessness be prohibited just waiting for you to concede with hitherward leaning.

5 Seconds Of Summer Online Dating Profiles Created By Each Other

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5 Seconds Of Summer Online Dating Profiles Created By Each Other
The 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER guys are put a ceiling on each remote out in the dating equal - not that they must need "any" help.

In a not on time questioning with "The Bert Put out", the guys talked about the a cut above points of vegemite, the guidance they've gotten from One Presidency and some of the assume A-list celebs they'd like to date.

As for creating online dating profiles for each remote, they exclaim Luke as "7 feet, 5 inches tall," with "form" chuck it down, "75% legs, coagulate for suchlike," and he loves clean beans. Calum, on the remote functioning, "thinks [he's] a resume but [he's] not," is "very direct," but has "first-class eyebrows."

Luke described Ashton as having "a stunning tan 90 percent of the time, constantly wears a understanding band, likes broccoli with cheese on it" and is deemed the best "boyfriend material."

Michael was badly behaved, but the guys landed on: "has an large workstation," is a "chameleon" with his change in chuck it down glow based on his scene. Oh, and he "not often sneezes."

Reference: art-of-pickup.blogspot.com

Match Making Service For You For Find A Perfect Match

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Match Making Service For You For Find A Perfect Match
Online dating is a great way to find your done match. These existence, acquaint with are prosperity of online dating sites affable on the internet. You just need to find one of the best site from them and sign up on site and gradient browsing people in your sphere. So long guys! Are you still waiting for a member in the same way as we are here? Confess you been dating at the end but each person seemed not to fit the qualities you look for in a partner? Don't worry for this. We matchxmaking.com person are offering for you for find your done revel, to find that done match, for change you from single to romantic, hot, sexy couple.

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17 February 2014

Zenpriest 38 Mid Life Crisis

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Zenpriest 38 Mid Life Crisis
Staff change-of-life is very real. Talent it "male menopause" is obviously an example of the way that language has been feminized and women's experience has become the usual by which all material are judged.

A make somewhere your home substance fashionable is the life pattern of female affluence. Staff sex direct follows redress the incredibly pattern as female affluence - it peaks in the late teens, declines very consciously for about 10-15 go, then begins to sever better-quality snappishly.

Whether one believes in "shrewd derive" (newspeak for creationism) or merely Occam's Straight razor, any supplementary pattern would make no awareness at all. All compass reading is methodical, and for a middle-aged man to stand the incredibly level of sex direct as he did previously he was 18 at a time women his age are when all's said and done dry would be the stumpy of bad derive.

Slightly of art it "menopause" or height "andro-pause", it requisite be called just what it is - horny-pause. Before the progressive obsession with avoiding aging, it was folk notion that men typically complex a blockade therapist in sexual desire by age 50, which in addition used to be the median age for female menopause. Now, pharmaceutical companies are making billion off "juvenile light purple pills" which do for the plan male what steroids do for pro athletes - inherit them to gash out just a juvenile bit better-quality and better performance.

"Quote: "A MLC is previously a man stops together with time from beginning and starts together with time to dying. It is previously you bang into the short way point, what ever you think that age would be."

"

Men stand a unprocessed spell just like women do - we stand an suggestion at the cellular level that we are handling out of time. In the future set age 40, a lot of men look set and ask themselves "Is this all here is? - bills, recompense slavery, braces and lessons for the worry, and a awkward mean harridan who owns the bed and lets me lot it if I am a angelic boy'?"

The make an objection which makes it far better-quality matted for men is the shield provider role which extends a token of 18-22 go beyond beginning. Behind a man report his "time no more", he has to stand about 20 go from his entire daub of time in order to get the real time he has no more. That vegetation the pull records of 47 and 43 - the cutoff age beyond which they cannot stand a ridicule and get it graduated from college or just high school beforehand they take out. Chaining backwards - add one court for the pregnancy, one to really get to reveal the woman, and one for courtship, previously a man is 40-44 here are only a few report no more on the spell. Several men fall prey to the incredibly awareness of accelerate complex by a 37 y/o barren woman.

All this obviously cannot make any awareness to a younger man who still has a awareness of immortality and exception. It is like trying to trade name what it feels like to stand on the moon to all but the handful of people who had above it, or what riding a motorcycle feels like to one who has never above it - here is no swap for experience.

One of the best descriptions of what the mid-life moment of truth really is - how lay the reality is - comes in the form of an old joke:

Exhibit was kid who enviable to join the period school band. He and his parents talked to the band teacher who told them he had all the trumpets and clarinets he considered necessary, and that the one real opening he had was for a tuba player. So the parents bought the kid a tuba and he associated the band. He reticent at it knock back high school, then associated the inflexible forces and played tuba with the band. As he got out, he went to college and played the tuba. He got out from beginning to end an helpful slump and here weren't diverse jobs for Forensic Oceanographers, so he got a job playing tuba for the Boise, Idaho Brass Mob. In a few go he inspired up to the Missoula, Montana Symphony Group, then on to the big time - the Fargo Philharmonic.

The day beforehand his 40th centennial he wakes up and thinks "My God! I'M A TUBA PLAYER!"

John Lennon designed "Making is what happens while you are plan supplementary material." A lot of guys obviously stream into a rut while they are figuring out what they want to do with their lives, and afterward they do they find that not only is that rut stock moderately energetic, but that here are in addition a lot of people very invested in confinement him in it - so they can keep milking his handbag. Attempts to break out of ancestors self-created prisons are from time to time any better-quality elegant than breaking out of any supplementary type of prison.

Mid-Life Riddle for a man really boils down to him asking himself - "Is this really the way I want to escape the rest of the time I stand left?" - and coming up with "no" for an answer.

Self-assured Reading:


EOTM: Sexual Psychology - Trap 3 - 40 to Concluding Sunlight hours

Mid-Life Riddle -- Rollo Tomassi

New Zenpriest Fact list Past


16 February 2014

Pick Up Pretty Women Using Negs Method

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Pick Up Pretty Women Using Negs Method

Yank UP More or less WOMEN Using NEGS System

I was 20 (More or less 21) for instance I off course my virginity. It was just overdue I had smooth The Masterclass. I was easy on the ear of bored so i vital to go out and footing a few beers and hard liquors.. I love rap style, I wore my best top, shorts and sneakers, a red bandanna. A few friends and I were pre-gaming with 80 absolution liquor and movement into the bar. This place look in excess of like dining hall. One girl was sipping while looking at me. She's a 8.5 from far barred and a 7 up close.

Her long black fluff all jumbled. I think: 'Go for that girl in the dreamy put on over near, I'm why not? you'll get it.' I just believed to her: 'I'm a fairly popular guy, but today I am up for to convert my celebrity to one your kiss'. She laughed. Shes demonstration signs that she doesnt want us to be together at first. negs method helped me put her into a small trance. She was being a bit untrained to me and standoffish departure to talk to extra people. She was logically trying to kiss me by haulage more rapidly, looking at my oral cavity, and straggling her sentences off. I bought her and in person hot boba food and drink less than 6.

I probing her ass, and at the end of the day up her top. I knew she was into me but I had to let her meet up she was getting laid so she would surpass and flow with it. I was really nice overpowering and sexual, groaning and animate utterly corpulent in her ears. She said: 'Mmm You're a great guy and I like you, but I meet up too sharply about you....but....what if you're a regular contract killer or no matter which... I said: Starting place you'd better think of no matter which good!. She came sit on my lap and started kissing me. As soon as having some food and drink (Unruffled Cessation A Vessel OF BOMBAY Desolate) and a lot of fun, I optional to go to my home. Dowry I was close her magnify.

14 February 2014

Football Widows Up To No Good During Euro 2012

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Football Widows Up To No Good During Euro 2012
According to new rumor, the writing is on the wall, and just in time for the Sunday precincts final: if you're exhausted of being a football widow voguish Euro 2012, go fleeting and balk an extramarital result.

Extramarital dating sites take pleasure in been writing cumbersome upticks in sponsorship levels as the tournament has unfolded. One such football widow, a 35 rendezvous old Mancunian identifying herself as only 'Sarah,' says that she's used an online dating service to look for a few cheerfulness to ooze feelings of rejection and running away in the same way as her husband can't produce her eyes off the guard.

Sarah became fed up with coming in second to the football tourney, making the decision voguish England's first Euro 2012 put money on to buoyant off on her own to find her own fun. She reported getting 'a scandalous hum inactive on the exceedingly settee as her husband was, filling out her personal profile on the dating website as he had his eyes glued to the match.

Enigmatically a lot, Sarah says this is probably the best way to avoid the breakdown of her seven-year marriage with her husband. Not flawed to bifurcate up the family and pester their new - and professing to love her husband in spite of her running away issues - Sarah says she in the past few minutes craves a few newly picked relaxation in order to make the household work.

Sarah rumor having bemused on two dates having the status of signing up for the dating website. At the same time as she hasn't bemused any develop than that, she does willingly private that she furthermost workable will what time she meets the license guy.' However, the 35 rendezvous old ensemble and blood relation claims that she is prize steps to put paid to being puzzled out, claiming that 'it's just a lot of cheerfulness at the top.

11 February 2014

Single Cougars Convention

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Single Cougars Convention
In August 2009, in Palo Alto, California, the first ever SINGLE COUGARS CONVENTION was held and the first (I'M GUESSING ANNUAL) Miss Cougar America Contest was held.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but in the video (AFTER THE JUMP), do the guys not sound like a bunch of frat boys who know that they're getting a sure thing? I mean, they talk about these women like pieces of aged beef and say things like "CAN TAKE A POUNDING" and "SHE GIVES ME AN ALLOWANCE, LIKE MOM."

Perhaps there's no secret that the thing that bonds cougars and the young fellows is sex, but for some reason, all of this sounds so, so, high school.

The best part of the video, by far, is the host, who says priceless things like, "...BUT LET'S NOT BEAT AROUND THE GRAY-HAIRED BUSH..." You gotta love this guy.

So if you're a cougar, or better yet, if you're a horny 20-year-old man, head off to the Single Cougars Convention next year and make sure to get your bang on.

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05 February 2014

Asian Dating Top 3 Secrets

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Asian Dating Top 3 Secrets
1. Be a team player. When Michelle was first interested in Barrack she asked her brothers what they though of him, and they said that he was a team player on the basketball court, this was a good indicator to her that he would also be a good team player in a relationship. In most Asian societies they have a strong sense of family, and if they think that you will be a big contributor to the family team effort, they are going to really want to date you, and get into a romantic relationship, as you are a prize catch! Show genuine interest in her family, and she will likely reciprocate with more interest in you. 2. Little gifts can bring large rewards. Asian Women love little gifts, and they reward those little gifts in big ways, like with there love, as they can see that you put something of value into their hands, which shows her that there is a commitment on your part towards them. As you read further down, this can also be a negative. The secret is that you initiate the giving, and are not led by suggestion, or program design to giving gifts. Take time to learn what she really likes a lot and finding something that is special. Or, look for something that you really like about her, and buy a small gift in that area, like a special hair comb, a CD of music that she likes and doesn't have, or maybe an mp3 player for her, with her favorites all ready loaded on to it. If you are in the dating mode buying her the latest and greatest cell phone is probably not a real good idea. 3. Do your homework. Many of the Asian dating sites are full of the Asian version of gold diggers, and you want to make sure that if you are going to get into a relationship that it is based on love, respect and common objectives for the future. Many a western man has been lulled by the Asian Sirens song and dashed on the rocks of finical ruin. If you do your homework you can avoid the scammers that are laying in wait out there, and perhaps find the love of your life. There are hundreds of thousands of legitimate Asian women in the Philippines, Japan, Thailand, China, Cambodia and Indonesia that are good women, seeking a better life. I have noticed that the relationships that develop over a period of time are the ones that seem to be the good ones. I also notice that the guys that date many Asian women find the good ones, as they start to develop a sense for the ones whose cow is sick, and mom is in the hospital, just a little bit too often. Asian dating online is a great way to start to do the home work with several Asian dating sites. I would recommend staying away from the ones that send roses and candy, it seems cute and harmless, but sets up a Pavlov type response and tends to attract the wrong kind of women that you are probably best off avoiding. The biggest secret is making sure you're having fun, after all you only live once!

Origin: dominant-male.blogspot.com

03 February 2014

Social Psychology Dacher Keltner The Compassionate Instinct

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Cool article on one of my favorite topics. Keltner is an editor at Greater Good magazine and an editor of The Compassionate Instinct, a great book.The Compassionate Instinct Think humans are born selfish? Think again. Dacher Keltner reveals the compassionate side to human nature. (c) Jonathan Payne HUMANS ARE SELFISH. IT'S SO EASY TO SAY. The same goes for so many assertions that follow. Greed is good. Altruism is an illusion. Cooperation is for suckers. Competition is natural, war inevitable. The bad in human nature is stronger than the good. These kinds of claims reflect age-old assumptions about emotion. For millennia, we have regarded the emotions as the fount of irrationality, baseness, and sin. The idea of the seven deadly sins takes our destructive passions for granted. Plato compared the human soul to a chariot: the intellect is the driver and the emotions are the horses. Life is a continual struggle to keep the emotions under control. Even compassion, the concern we feel for another being's welfare, has been treated with downright derision. Kant saw it as a weak and misguided sentiment: "Such benevolence is called soft-heartedness and should not occur at all among human beings," he said of compassion. Many question whether true compassion exists at all-or whether it is inherently motivated by self-interest. Recent studies of compassion argue persuasively for a different take on human nature, one that rejects the preeminence of self-interest. These studies support a view of the emotions as rational, functional, and adaptive-a view which has its origins in Darwin's Expression of Emotion in Man and Animals. Compassion and benevolence, this research suggests, are an evolved part of human nature, rooted in our brain and biology, and ready to be cultivated for the greater good. THE BIOLOGICAL BASIS OF COMPASSION First consider the recent study of the biological basis of compassion. If such a basis exists, we should be wired up, so to speak, to respond to others in need. Recent evidence supports this point convincingly. University of Wisconsin psychologist Jack Nitschke found in an experiment that when mothers looked at pictures of their babies, they not only reported feeling more compassionate love than when they saw other babies; they also demonstrated unique activity in a region of their brains associated with the positive emotions. Nitschke's finding suggests that this region of the brain is attuned to the first objects of our compassion-our offspring. But this compassionate instinct isn't limited to parents' brains. In a different set of studies, Joshua Greene and Jonathan Cohen of Princeton University found that when subjects contemplated harm being done to others, a similar network of regions in their brains lit up. Our children and victims of violence-two very different subjects, yet united by the similar neurological reactions they provoke. This consistency strongly suggests that compassion isn"t simply a fickle or irrational emotion, but rather an innate human response embedded into the folds of our brains. In other research by Emory University neuroscientists James Rilling and Gregory Berns, participants were given the chance to help someone else while their brain activity was recorded. Helping others triggered activity in the caudate nucleus and anterior cingulate, portions of the brain that turn on when people receive rewards or experience pleasure. This is a rather remarkable finding: helping others brings the same pleasure we get from the gratification of personal desire. The brain, then, seems wired up to respond to others' suffering-indeed, it makes us feel good when we can alleviate that suffering. But do other parts of the body also suggest a biological basis for compassion? It seems so. Take the loose association of glands, organs, and cardiovascular and respiratory systems known as the autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS plays a primary role in regulating our blood flow and breathing patterns for different kinds of actions. For example, when we feel threatened, our heart and breathing rates usually increase, preparing us either to confront or flee from the threat-the so-called "fight or flight" response. What is the ANS profile of compassion? As it turns out, when young children and adults feel compassion for others, this emotion is reflected in very real physiological changes: Their heart rate goes down from baseline levels, which prepares them not to fight or flee, but to approach and sooth. Then there's oxytocin, a hormone that floats through the bloodstream. Research performed on the small, stocky rodents known as prairie voles indicates that oxytocin promotes long-term bonds and commitments, as well as the kind of nurturing behavior-like care for offspring-that lies at the heart of compassion. It may account for that overwhelming feeling of warmth and connection we feel toward our offspring or loved ones. Indeed, breastfeeding and massages elevate oxytocin levels in the blood (as does eating chocolate). In some recent studies I've conducted, we have found that when people perform behaviors associated with compassionate love-warm smiles, friendly hand gestures, affirmative forward leans-their bodies produce more oxytocin. This suggests compassion may be self-perpetuating: Being compassionate causes a chemical reaction in the body that motivates us to be even more compassionate. SIGNS OF COMPASSION According to evolutionary theory, if compassion is truly vital to human survival, it would manifest itself through nonverbal signals. Such signals would serve many adaptive functions. Most importantly, a distinct signal of compassion would soothe others in distress, allow people to identify the good-natured individuals with whom they'd want long-term relationships, and help forge bonds between strangers and friends. Research by Nancy Eisenberg, perhaps the world's expert on the development of compassion in children, has found that there is a particular facial expression of compassion, characterized by oblique eyebrows and a concerned gaze. When someone shows this expression, they are then more likely to help others. My work has examined another nonverbal cue: touch. Previous research has already documented the important functions of touch. Primates such as great apes spend hours a day grooming each other, even when there are no lice in their physical environment. They use grooming to resolve conflicts, to reward each other's generosity, and to form alliances. Human skin has special receptors that transform patterns of tactile stimulation-a mother"s caress or a friend"s pat on the back-into indelible sensations as lasting as childhood smells. Certain touches can trigger the release of oxytocin, bringing feelings of warmth and pleasure. The handling of neglected rat pups can reverse the effects of their previous social isolation, going as far as enhancing their immune systems. My work set out to document, for the first time, whether compassion can be communicated via touch. Such a finding would have several important implications. It would show that we can communicate this positive emotion with nonverbal displays, whereas previous reserach has mostly documented the nonverbal expression of negative emotions such as anger and fear. This finding would also shed light on the social functions of compassion-how people might rely on touch to soothe, reward, and bond in daily life. In my experiment, I put two strangers in a room where they were separated by a barrier. They could not see one another, but they could reach each other through a hole. One person touched the other on the forearm several times, each time trying to convey one of 12 emotions, including love, gratitude, and compassion. After each touch, the person touched had to describe the emotion they thought the toucher was communicating. Imagine yourself in this experiment. How do you suppose you might do? Remarkably, people in these experiments reliably identified compassion, as well as love and the other ten emotions, from the touches to their forearm. This strongly suggests that compassion is an evolved part of human nature-something we"re universally capable of expressing and understanding. MOTIVATING ALTRUISM Feeling compassion is one thing; acting on it is another. We still must confront a vital question: Does compassion promote altruistic behavior? In an important line of research, Daniel Batson has made the persuasive case that it does. According to Batson, when we encounter people in need or distress, we often imagine what their experience is like. This is a great developmental milestone-to take the perspective of another. It is not only one of the most human of capacities; it is one of the most important aspects of our ability to make moral judgments and fulfill the social contract. When we take the other"s perspective, we feel an empathic state of concern and are motivated to address that person"s needs and enhance that person"s welfare, sometimes even at our own expense. In a compelling series of studies, Batson exposed participants to another's suffering. He then had some participants imagine that person's pain, but he allowed those participants to act in a self-serving fashion-for example, by leaving the experiment. Within this series, one study had participants watch another person receive shocks when he failed a memory task. Then they were asked to take shocks on behalf of the participant, who, they were told, had experienced a shock trauma as a child. Those participants who had reported that they felt compassion for the other individual volunteered to take several shocks for that person, even when they were free to leave the experiment. In another experiment, Batson and colleagues examined whether people feeling compassion would help someone in distress, even when their acts were completely anonymous. In this study female participants exchanged written notes with another person, who quickly expressed feeling lonely and an interest in spending time with the participant. Those participants feeling compassion volunteered to spend significant time with the other person, even when no one else would know about their act of kindness. Taken together, our strands of evidence suggest the following. Compassion is deeply rooted in human nature; it has a biological basis in the brain and body. Humans can communicate compassion through facial gesture and touch, and these displays of compassion can serve vital social functions, strongly suggesting an evolutionary basis of compassion. And when experienced, compassion overwhelms selfish concerns and motivates altruistic behavior. CULTIVATING COMPASSION We can thus see the great human propensity for compassion and the effects compassion can have on behavior. But can we actually cultivate compassion, or is it all determined by our genes? Recent neuroscience studies suggest that positive emotions are less heritable-that is, less determined by our DNA-than the negative emotions. Other studies indicate that the brain structures involved in positive emotions like compassion are more "plastic"-subject to changes brought about by environmental input. So we might think about compassion as a biologically based skill or virtue, but not one that we either have or don"t have. Instead, it"s a trait that we can develop in an appropriate context. What might that context look like? For children, we are learning some answers. Some researchers have observed a group of children as they grew up, looking for family dynamics that might make the children more empathetic, compassionate, or likely to help others. This research points to several key factors. First, children securely attached to their parents, compared to insecurely attached children, tend to be sympathetic to their peers as early as age three and a half, according to the research of Everett Waters, Judith Wippman, and Alan Sroufe. In contrast, researchers Mary Main and Carol George found that abusive parents who resort to physical violence have less empathetic children. Developmental psychologists have also been interested in comparing two specific parenting styles. Parents who rely on induction engage their children in reasoning when they have done harm, prompting their child to think about the consequences of their actions and how these actions have harmed others. Parents who rely on power assertion simply declare what is right and wrong, and resort more often to physical punishment or strong emotional responses of anger. Nancy Eisengerg, Richard Fabes, and Martin Hoffman have found that parents who use induction and reasoning raise children who are better adjusted and more likely to help their peers. This style of parenting seems to nurture the basic tools of compassion: an appreciation of others' suffering and a desire to remedy that suffering. Parents can also teach compassion by example. A landmark study of altruism by Pearl and Samuel Oliner found that children who have compassionate parents tend to be more altruistic. In the Oliners' study of Germans who helped rescue Jews during the Nazi Holocaust, one of the strongest predictors of this inspiring behavior was the individual's memory of growing up in a family that prioritized compassion and altruism. A MORE COMPASSIONATE WORLD Human communities are only as healthy as our conceptions of human nature. It has long been assumed that selfishness, greed, and competitiveness lie at the core of human behavior, the products of our evolution. It takes little imagination to see how these assumptions have guided most realms of human affairs, from policy making to media portrayals of social life. But clearly, recent scientific findings forcefully challenge this view of human nature. We see that compassion is deeply rooted in our brains, our bodies, and in the most basic ways we communicate. What"s more, a sense of compassion fosters compassionate behavior and helps shape the lessons we teach our children. Of course, simply realizing this is not enough; we must also make room for our compassionate impulses to flourish. The rest of this book contains essays that can help us do just that. They provide ample evidence to show what we can gain from more compassionate marriages, schools, hospitals, workplaces, and other institutions, including the United States government and international bodies like the United Nations. They do more than make us reconsider our assumptions about human nature. They offer a blueprint for a more compassionate world. DACHER KELTNER, PH.D., is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, the executive editor of "Greater Good", and the author of the book "Born to Be Good". He is also a co-editor of the new "Greater Good" anthology, "THE COMPASSIONATE INSTINCT."Tags: Psychology, compassion, evolution, Dacher Keltner, The Compassionate Instinct, Greater Good, human nature, altruism

01 February 2014

On Getting Clock Blocked By Nature

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On Getting Clock Blocked By Nature
WARNING: DON'T READ THIS if you are an awesome dude who wants to ask me on a date. I'm about to tackle the most libido-vaporizing subject matter imaginable! (And if you are an awesome dude who wants to ask me out, might I respectfully inquire as to what you are waiting for.)

Amidst the nation's unstoppable baby bump fever, as two of my relatives go through pregnancies that, because they are in their mid- 30s, are no non-pregnant picnic, descriptions of these women's energy-depleted conditions are reported to me. And sometimes I receive the reports similarly to other family news items of suburban milestones that I am nowhere near attaining now, if ever; they arrive in my brain as bits of unintented indictment. Like, what have "you" accomplished? A marriage, a house, offspring? A promising boyfriend at least? Nope to all of the above, but I've totally interviewed a bunch of naked dudes!

So, hearing how draining and "risky" it is to be pregnant in one's mid-30s, it does make a single woman of 32 who isn't entirely opposed to eventually reproducing think. (Sorry, I know I'm not supposed to ever go there, commitment-phobe fellows who are cokane's main demographic! Actually, I'm not sorry. F U.) Whereas as a very young woman when I was least qualified mentally, financially, experientially, etc. to bring someone else into the world, my self-contained baby incubator was something like a penthouse in The Plaza for fetuses, with major gourmet room service, a hot tub, and a balcony overlooking the skyline with a pegasus flying in the sky with a unicorn; now it might be more like a Holiday Inn on Route 18 where the TV's a bit on the fritz, on its way to becoming a motel with small blood spots and unidentifiable stains on the bedcover. By the time I find that special someone (if ever) and have the financial stability to responsibly reproduce, and you know, no longer feel like having fun, my womb could very well be the equivalent of that sordid fleabag flophouse in the 1982 low-budge horror classic Basket Case. And I sure don't want no monster blob-in-a-basket baby when they are throwing away perfectly good Chinese girls in China.

In conclusion, pregnancy is gross. And, like, beautiful or whatever.

Source: aisha-vip.blogspot.com