Are You A Magnet For The Unavailable Man

The 5 Warning Signs of an Unavailable Man The best way to avoid the heartbreak that comes from falling for an unavailable man is to detect the warning signs at the beginning of a relationship, before you become too involved. Many women are raised to give people the benefit of the doubt. While these are never reasons to stop dating someone, they are indicators to take your time before becoming emotionally and physically involved. WARNING SIGN NUMBER ONE - TOO MUCH TECHNOLOGY Brad winked at Kim on Match.com. She thought he was cute so she emailed him. They exchanged emails for over month. Finally, Kim gave him her phone number and said lets talk. He did call her and they spoke that day for hours on the phone. They totally clicked, had a lot in common, both loved outdoors, hiking, animals and the beach. After weeks of texting and talking on the phone, he never asked her out. REALITY CHECK: If you are texting/emailing/calling for more than a week or two with no initiation for one on one contact, he is NOT available. WARNING SIGN NUMBER TWO - YOU ARE THE ONE TAKING THE INITIATIVE In the case of Kim and Brad, she was the one who emailed first, she suggested they talk on the phone. Because they seemed to have a great connection, Kim even considered, maybe I should ask him out? REALITY CHECK: If he does not ask you out or take initiative to move the relationship forward there is probably a reason. He is either in a relationship or seeing someone. If not then he is very passive and this will not change. WARNING SIGN NUMBER THREE - WORDS AND ACTIONS DO NOT MATCH Carol met Craig and they had instant chemistry. He sent her cute and flirty text messages, called her beautiful and showered her with sincere heartfelt compliments. He said things like, you know I care about you and I am always here for you. He would say, we should go away for the weekend we should go wine tasting but he never followed through. He was often late for their dates or canceled at the last minute. When she would bring it up, he would apologize profusely, tell her how much he liked her and promise it would never happen again - until the next time. They always had a good time together so she kept seeing him hoping it would change. REALITY CHECK: Talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. They way to judge a man is not by his words but by his actions. Early warning sign- If he says he is going to call and doesnt that is usually a good indicator that he is an unavailable man. WARNING SIGN NUMBER FOUR - SEPARATED OR A RECENT BREAKUP Kelly went out with a man who recently separated from his wife. It had been only about 6 months and they had not filed divorce papers yet. He said he was ready for a relationship, but he still often talked about his wife and sometimes even became emotional. They continued to see each and Kelly really liked him. When she asked him for a commitment, he confessed that he was just no ready for a serious relationship. REALITY CHECK: Separated is NOT divorced. Most people need time to recover from a break up from a long term relationship. There is a reason they call it rebound! Do not date anyone who has not filed divorce papers, has custody and financial issues that are not completely resolved and has not been living on his own for at least six months. WARNING SIGN NUMBER FIVE - COMES ON VERY STRONG RIGHT AWAY Sharon met Roger and they had an instant connection right away. They talked on the phone and he sent her texts every day, a few times per day. They talked about planning their lives, taking trips together, and how they would spend next summer. In the first week, he sent her texts every day, a few times per day. He said things like he was "falling in love". He asked her questions about how many children she wanted, how often she liked to travel, if she was a bed hog. Sharon was ecstatic and thought she had found the one. But the next week things began to cool down and suddenly she did not hear from him much. Then his tone became distant and he started to treat her like a friend. She was devastated and worried that she had done something wrong. REALITY CHECK: When men come on very strong at the beginning before you have gotten to know each other, this is a strong warning sign. Mature people take the time to get to know each other before discussing marriage, children and long term plans. When a man does this in the first week or two, beware, this is a sign of player. So if you see any of these warnings signs take a step back. You dont have to cut him off all together. Adopt an attitude of "wait and see". Dont get too excited, stay present and continue to date other people. Remember what someone else does is not a reflection on you. And you only get hurt when you get involved too quickly. There are a lot of good quality men out there. The more you say no to what you dont want, the more you become clear on what you do want, the more you create space for your true love to come into your life.