15 September 2009

After Divorce Telling Your Kids Youre Ready To Meet New People

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After Divorce Telling Your Kids Youre Ready To Meet New People
It may have been a long time since your last date and, with the presence of children in your life, the whole process will seem vastly different. If you've started to date again after a divorce, there are plenty of ways you can keep your kids informed about what's happening so that they aren't confused or left out.

Here is some advice for newly-single parents making their way back onto the dating scene.

BE HONEST - BUT NOT TOO HONEST


While you're dating, it's a good idea to be up front with your match about the fact that you're a parent. However, this does not mean you should display the same level of honesty with your kids. Depending on how long it has been since the break-up, you don't want to unsettle them or take away the stability they've started to build.

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PICK THE RIGHT TIME


You might have met several potential matches while looking for love and getting back on the dating scene can be a lot of fun. However, it's best not to introduce your kids to everyone you meet - it might be difficult for them to have to contend with a string of new potential parentfigures who suddenly disappear from their lives.

LISTEN TO YOUR KIDS


Once you've been seeing someone for a while, it's time to tell the kids. How your children react to your new relationship depends on many factors, particularly their ages. Be sensitive to their needs and appreciate that your decision to seek a new partner through friends or to look for love through free dating sites might throw up all kinds of issues for them.

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YOUNG CHILDREN


Young children tend to need lots of reassurance, so ease them in. Tell them about your new 'friend' and let them know exactly when you're going to see them and what time you'll be back. Mention their name around your children to get them used to the idea that you're spending lots of time together.

OLDER CHILDREN


With older children, you can be more honest about the fact that you're dating someone. Emphasise how important it is that you have someone special in your life, while reassuring them that they'll always come first. When your children see how happy you are, they'll be able to relax about your new love interest.

TEENAGERS


Because teenagers will be more clued-up onhow relationships work, they'll know the implications of your choosing to date again. Ask them how they feel about it and if they want to talk about it. Don't ask for their permission or talk about your own dates at the same time as they're talking about theirs - you're still their parent and boundaries need to stay in place.

Reaching out to others will help you to decide on the best approach for discussing your new lovelife with your children. Whatever happens, your children will survive the changes in your family and will want to support you in finding happiness in the future.

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